Am I more of a writer that also paints or an artist that also writes?
And why is it important to know?
Last week, two incidences overlapped and made me think about whether I’m more of a writer that also paints or an artist that also writes. It’s bothering me a bit and I can’t for sure tell you why. The overlapping incidences where that I met a friend who also writes and that I read Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang, which came with an unexpected boost of inspiration and energy to write and a sudden wish to look more deeply into creative writing and storytelling again. I know the basics, have worked on a few stories for several courses, but since I left university I never really came back. Instead, I told myself that story crafting is for when you have time for it and I don’t have that time. Still, I’ve been typing away for years – blogposts, essays, newsletters, copy, content, journaling – so that I feel quite confident with the label “writer”.
But I paint as well and though I find it much more difficult to own the label of an “artist”, it’s still part of the game. I do all that’s part of the process: I get inspired, envision paintings and collections, I can feel an idea growing before it’s ready before my eyes. I think about colours, mediums and techniques and think about what feelings a painting provokes. However, most of the time, I’m not painting, and with lack of time, energy or other resources, I would always try to keep my writing practice safe and secure, but not my painting practice. It’s the first to go when life gets too busy. And somehow, this makes me feel like I’m not an artist first, writer second, but the other way around.
Does this make me less of an artist? Is my art and art practice as worthy as that one of a ‘real’ artist? Or am I, actually, just a creative scribbling away at times, trying to get the best of both worlds, but never rooting for one? I notice as I write how harsh that sounds, how invalidating these thoughts make me feel. As if my creative being lacks a full-hearted direction. To some degree I think these feelings will go away when I know what I’m first: writer or artist. Labelling yourself makes life easier, most of the time. But it also restricts and sets limits, where they aren’t necessary.
So, is it as important to know as I imagine? Will a decision make me feel more connected to a specific community? For sure, I usually find it easier to relate with writers because with artists – so sorry btw – I often think afterwards: ‘What the heck???’, while at the same time I really want to talk to people who are doing the same thing as I do. Maybe I’m also a “What the heck???” person and just don’t see it.
Side note: Only recently, we met with a distantly related family member of my partner, which he had last seen about twenty years ago. He is that camper-globetrotter type who had a very solid job where he travelled the world and now spends most of his time away with his campervan. It was a family gathering, we exchanged a few sentences and that’s it, but my partner met him again the following day and they talked about their lives and stuff. After a while they also talked about me a bit and the relative said to my partner something like: He admires my natural way of being, that I truly am a special person and that my partner is lucky for having me (that was flattering, indeed). However, upon hearing that I’m working part-time in a café and otherwise write and paint he replied something like: It’s the least he would have expected to hear and that he wishes my partner good luck and lots of patience, because he knows many creatives through his travels, and they are all very difficult. Umpf. I know I shouldn’t give much for a stranger’s words, but in this context, I think, maybe I’m really a “What the heck??” person as well. Who knows?
From a gut feeling I’d say I’m a writer first, artist second. I’ve done it much longer, found joy in it almost ten years ago, pursued it as work and hobby. While I only came back to painting after I had done an intensive job coaching program, as I didn’t know what to do with myself career-wise. Without it, my painting skills would have probably kept buried for much longer, if not forever.
At the same time, I keep struggling with coming up with solid writing ideas – there are a bazillion ideas roughly noted down, but they are all far away from solid. It’s much more of an on and off flow. With my painting practice it’s different. I see paintings everywhere and usually have too less time to follow every spark of inspiration, whereas with writing I often need to do serious thinking, sitting down and writing down literally everything that comes to my mind, as I tend to forget it immediately again. Artwork ideas stick to me for months or years. However, that’s still not resting the case, nor is it a good argument for or against the question. The creative process of anyone is too varied, too fluid, too connected to circumstances, moods, seasons, mental or physical health and even negative beliefs or traumas.
Would it help me to classify? Does it help you? Or, if we pursue several creative outlets at once, may our favourability of one, just be an expression of seasonality? Of life’s rhythms, ups and downs, ebbs and flows, just as we like lemon cake for one summer and completely forget about it during winter or even for some years. Maybe the lack of any creative outlet might not make us less off a writer or an artist or potter or photographer, but just represents a different season in our creative life. Maybe, it’s not that important at all for our creative journey, for our feeling of belonging to a community.
Anyway, I still think I’m more a writer first, artist second. Though the case might never be fully rested.
What do you think? I’d love to read how you feel about it and if you are a multi-creative: do you label yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments, leave a like or share in your notes. Also, I’ve recently enjoyed reading this post by , about labelling ourselves as creatives.
About me: Hello, I’m Mareike, the writer of this newsletter hills to heart. I’m also the writer of my free Studio Journal newsletter, my Studio Blog and an artist, trying to capture the world around me with oils, watercolour or whatelse comes my way. Feel free to explore my art on my website and in my online shop. NEW: I’m also offering freelancing services for creatives, check them out here.
I am an artist and a writer, too. I like to think of myself as an artist first, but I sure-as-heck do a lot more writing than I do arting!
What a jerk thing for that relative to say. “She’s really special, you’re lucky.” And also, “I know she’s difficult, so good luck with that.” Wow. That relative wouldn’t be my family anymore after a comment like that. How passive-aggressive and horrible.
Van Gogh made the most beautiful, revered paintings in the world and never sold any of them. He was still a special person and he still made the most beautiful, revered paintings in the world.
Maybe jerks like this relative could start BUYING ART and valuing it instead of putting down the artists as if they are difficult and worthless.
Aw thank you so much for reading and mentioning my post, Mareike! This made my day 🥰
I love seeing your thought process about the two identities, especially where you mention which group you relate to more. Labels are partly about belonging so that's a great perspective! (I definitely write way more than I make art, but I relate more to the artist people than the writer people somehow, so I too constantly toggling between the terms! 😆)